If your friends and family discover that you are practicing Tarot, sooner or later you will be approached with requests for readings. People are curious about what may come, and the mystery surrounding Tarot has held the attention of a large subset of society for a very long time.
Decades ago, when I was just starting to explore Tarot, I learned the hard way that before giving these friend and family readings it is best to have a firm set of written ethical guidelines for one’s practice. There are some questions a friend or family member might ask that we just don’t want to know the answer too. Of course these guidelines will vary from practitioner to practitioner, as Tarot is an intensely personal pursuit.
But some of these ethical guidelines must, I think, be accepted by all who would read for others. Today I’m addressing two of them, Judgmentalism and Confidentiality.
Someone might come to us seeking a reading on a lark, for fun, or maybe even to test us. The questions won’t be intense, and we should be able to read without much concern.
But someone else might come to us because there is something quite profound going on in their lives. They need to talk with someone about it, get a different perspective of it, perhaps some spiritual advice. It is these situations that we must treat with special care.
We must be non-judgemental. This might be difficult, especially with a friend or a family member, but no matter who the querent might be, when they come to us and we agree to consult the cards for them, we can not judge.
Let’s imagine for a second that we need to see our Doctor because of some embarrassing medical condition. It will probably be hard enough even with the professionalism we expect from Doctors, but it would be impossible for us to get the medical consultation we need if we were worried that the Doctor might laugh at us, or be judgemental about whatever condition we are there for. We just would not go.
If we do get a question from someone that would be embarrassing, gut wrenching, or otherwise difficult to ask, it is safe to assume that we are getting that question because the person doesn’t feel comfortable asking anyone else in their circle. They are coming to us, because they view us, for whatever reason, as a safe person to talk about the issue with. Perhaps it is the allure of the cards that makes them feel safe, but whatever it is, we are it.
If we were to judge them, or mock them, no matter what the question might be, we will have violated their trust. And we will have violated it in such a way that we will never again regain it.
When someone comes to us with something that is especially difficult for them, we must remain non-judgemental. We must create that safe space for them to talk and explore the issue with us. Only in that way can we help them.
We must take their reading to the grave with us. We must maintain absolute confidentiality for them.
People trust their Doctors and their Attorneys because they know that their secrets are safe with these professionals. They trust their Priests because they understand the seal of the confessional. Freemasons will trust another Freemason because they have pledged to keep each other’s secrets. It is no different with Tarot practitioners.
If a querent comes to us, it is with the implicit understanding that we will not discuss their issue, whatever it may be, with anyone else. We have to honor that trust.
They are bringing the issue to us because they believe that we can be trusted to keep their confidence. If we were to violate that confidence by gossiping or telling others what their reading was about, their trust would be shattered, and once again it would be shattered to such an extent that it could never be rebuilt.
As Tarot practitioners, sometimes people will come to us with something they would not take to anyone else. We must honor that by remaining non-judgemental, and protecting their privacy. We must ensure that we are truly creating a safe space for anyone who asks us to consult the Tarot for them. This is a profound moral obligation that can not be shirked, ignored, or forgotten.