Dear Bolo Tie Guy No. 2

A spiraling friend

Dear Bolo Tie Guy,

I'm deeply concerned about my friend, who seems to be spiraling into isolation. She's gone from being a vibrant, social person to hiding herself away and neglecting her responsibilities. Despite my efforts to help, she's become increasingly defensive and unwilling to acknowledge the severity of her situation.

Her boyfriend, who often enables her behavior, seems to be exacerbating the problem. She's spending most of her time with him, neglecting her job, and withdrawing from our social circle. Her physical health is also deteriorating, and she seems disconnected from reality.

I'm at a loss for what to do. I want to help her, but she's refusing all assistance. Should I continue to intervene, or should I distance myself from the situation? I'm worried about her well-being, but I'm also feeling frustrated and helpless.

Worried

Tarot Spread - French Cross Variation

Dear Worried,

The King of Pentacles is showing that you are largely correct, your friend’s boyfriend is having a large influence on her current behaviors. Unfortunately if she is neglecting her job and health, while isolating herself from her friends that influence is certainly negative.

I understand that you feel a need to withdraw from the situation, and that is symbolized by the 7 of Swords, but The Moon is clearly indicating that your friend’s behaviors, and her boyfriend’s influences, if not corrected could certainly lead her to harm.

Harms that she either can’t currently see, or can’t recognize as such if she does see them.

The Queen of Pentacles indicates that you should continue to offer your friend wise counsel and encouragement towards the positive things in her life. Encourage her to spend time with her friends, fulfil the responsibilities of her job, and take care of her health.

But, the Page of Swords shows that you need to do this dispassionately. For your own peace of mind, you need to emotionally divorce yourself from the outcome of her situation.

All you can do is advise her well and encourage her. You can’t make her decisions for her, so you can’t hold yourself responsible for the outcome. Do your best to help your friend, but realize that she might continue down her destructive path no matter what you do. And release yourself from any feeling of responsibility towards the outcome of her negative decisions.

I hope that this helps you, Worried. And I hope that your friend is able to realize the self destructive path she is following and correct her course sooner rather than later.

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